6 Ways to Make Space for Your Own Goals While Raising Kind Kids

Contributing Writer: Nadine Stille

Raising kind kids starts with modeling kindness toward yourself - through making space for your own goals, dreams, and needs. These tips help you grow personally while nurturing your children’s growth, too.

You’re raising kind kids, the next generation of compassionate children who listen, help, speak up, and offer empathy to others. That’s no small feat.

But what about you?

Are you speaking up for your own needs and the idea that keeps tugging at you?

Listening to your dreams; you know the one goal you’ve quietly shelved for “later”?

Being compassionate with yourself?

When you’re parenting, it’s easy for your needs to slip down the priority list. You’re not alone in this as energy and time can be tough to come by as a parent.

But here’s the thing: One of the most powerful ways to raise kind kids, generous, brave, empathetic humans... is to model kindness - and that includes how we treat ourselves.

You are not dropping the ball as a parent when you start making space for your own goals. It’s actually one of the most impactful things you can do for your child.

Here are six gentle ways to start.

1. Let Your Own Goals Be Seen

Instead of just trying to squeeze your own goals into nap times and after-bedtime scraps, let your kids see what lights you up. Invite them to play alongside you while you do it. Parallel play works for you too.

This might mean that you let them see you create, draw, write, stretch, plan, or problem-solve while they colour, read a book, or build a block tower.

Feel free to share with your kids what you’re up to and maybe even why.
When you honor your dreams out loud, your child learns that their ideas, hopes, and plans will matter too.

Reflect what it would sound like to cheer yourself on the way you naturally would for your child?

2. Redefine What It Means to Be Kind

We tell our kids to be kind: share, speak up, be understanding. When was the last time you shared your energy with yourself?

• Support your own goals?
• Spoke up for what you wanted?
• Show yourself some understanding and grace?

Kindness isn’t just something you give away - it’s something you can and need to direct inward.

Try this simple prompt this week:
“What does kindness toward myself look like right now, especially when it comes to balancing parenting and ambition?”

3. Listen to Yourself the Way You Want Your Kind Kids to Listen

One of the most powerful things we teach our kids is how to listen - to others and to themselves. So here’s a radical thought: what if you practiced that too?

Take a moment to ask:

• What have I been craving or missing?
• What keeps getting pushed to the bottom of the list (or kept off the list altogether)?
• What would I do if I gave myself just a little more permission?

When we slow down and allow ourselves to listen to what we truly want - even just once a week - we reconnect with what actually matters to us and can take action towards it.

4. Practice Speaking Up And Setting Boundaries

Your child learns how to advocate for themselves by watching how you advocate for yourself. So when you say things like:

• “I need time to work on something important to me.”
• “This is something I really care about.”
• “No, not today. I’m going to rest.”

You’re teaching them to protect their own time, voice, and values by setting clear boundaries. Speaking up for what you love isn’t selfish - it’s self-leadership. And your little one is watching and learning.

5. Help Your Own Mind

As you know, our minds can be powerful. While we’re raising kind kids, starting to dedicate more time to our own goals can sometimes bring up some complicated feelings like guilt and negative self-talk.

Notice which unhelpful thought patterns and mindsets come up for you.
Then, help yourself along and let go of those to make space for your own goals, dreams, and ambitions.

6. Small Steps and Structure Are Good For You Too 

Big goals don’t always need big blocks of time. You need to start working on them and get to the finish line - but you’re in charge of how and at what pace you get there.

Here are a 3 tips on how to make that easier on you:

• Pop your ‘me-time’ in the calendar or on top of the list. If you can’t see it, it’s very likely not happening.

• Start small with something that you can do consistently and sustainably. The key is to enjoy the present and progress, to get that result you’re after - and not to burn out. So maybe even schedule in a nap, because you’re tired and that’s okay.

• Activate your ‘support village’ - people who cheer you on and are excited for you, maybe even hold you gently accountable, who have another play date at their place so you have time for your own goals.

Take a moment and ask yourself:

“What’s one tiny (or mighty) way I can support my own goals this week?”
This small weekly (or even daily) structure helps you shift from being adrift to self-kindness and action mode. It shows your child that grown-ups are worthy of care, too.

You deserve to be kind to yourself, too.
Raising compassionate, kind kids doesn’t mean putting yourself last. In fact, your child learns so much by watching how you treat yourself - with patience, encouragement, and care.

Every time you listen inward, move toward something you love, or speak up for your own goals, needs, and dreams, you’re teaching your child that their voice, passions, and well-being matter, too.

You’re not just raising a kind kid - you’re modeling what it’s like to be the kind of adult you’d want them to grow into. Go for it and make space for your own goals.

Contributing Writer: Nadine Stille 

Nadine Stille is a Life and Career Coach for moms who are at crossroads in their lives where they want to get away from the daily grind and go after 'more' - more wellbeing, more calm, more fulfilled career dreams, more of what lights them up - even if it's freaking them out.   

Ready to treat yourself with the kindness you offer everyone else?
Grab your free copy of the Rest Reset Guide to explore 7 different types of rest parents actually need (beyond just sleep) and how you can get more of the type or rest you need.

It’s a kind, powerful first step toward reclaiming your time, energy, and helps you make space for what lights you up. You’re raising kind kids and that kindness begins with you. Learn more about it here: https://nadinestille.com/

Listen to Nadine's guest episode on the Transforming the Toddler Years podcast where she talked about mindfully managing your family focus while working from home.