Do Your Kids Lie? Here's Why & What to Say
Meet Davey, a high-energy, fun spirited little boy who is ALWAYS in motion.
This is toddler Davey loving life way back in 2021.
He's now six years old and the hero in my story-of-the-week on the podcast.
Why?
Because he lied to me, and then told the truth to his teacher about lying to me.
Young toddler Davey was an exuberant truth teller, running up to me at full speed to self-report. "Nanny Cara! Nanny Cara! I broke it. I broke it." Then grabbing my hand and pulling me over to show off 'it', a ripped screen on the slider window.
Little boy Davey is still a bouncing bundle of energy and also, a skilled 'storyteller' (aka: can choose to tell lies)
Why? What's changed in that brilliantly growing brain of his over the last four years?
Personally, I work hard not to lie.
I believe words are our greatest asset and using them honestly, and with intention, builds healthy, strong, loving relationships with our kids.
But every so often a little fib escapes my lips before I think it through.
Upon self-reflection, I realize that in sub-conscious, reactionary moments, I am feeling one of four things:
π¬scared
π¬emotionally threatened
π¬not-good-enough
π¬not-smart-enough
And so, I craft my words so I don't have to experience unpleasant or negative consequences, or more commonly, so the person I'm talking to doesn't have to feel that way.
Kids lie for a number of reasons, but it's how we talk to them afterwards that REALLY matters.
When faced with their next truth vs. lie decision they will replay their past choices and outcomes to inform their future choices.
Listen to the podcast episode I shared o hear Davey's story and listen to how I crafted our follow up conversation.
Cara Tyrrell, M.Ed is mom to three girls, a Vermont based Early Childhood Educator, Collaborative Parenting Coach, and the founder of Core4Parenting. She is the passionate mastermind behind the Collaborative Parenting Methodology™, a birth-to-five, soul and science based framework that empowers toddler parents and educators to turn tantrums into teachable moments. Through keynotes, teacher training, and her top-ranking podcast, Transforming the Toddler Years, she’s teaching the 5 Executive Functioning Skills kids need to navigate our ever-changing world.
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