Tapping Into Calm: How to Use EFT Tapping to Help Your Child with Anxiety and Fear

Contributing Writer: Lauren Fonvielle

If you’ve ever watched your child struggle with fear, overwhelm, or nervousness — and wished you had a magic wand to help — you’re not alone. As parents, we want to protect and empower our kids, but sometimes we’re not sure how. That’s where EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques also referred to as Tapping) can come in.

EFT is a simple, evidence-based tool that helps calm the nervous system by gently stimulating specific acupressure points on the body. It’s like giving your child a way to “press pause” on anxiety and fear — and tap into calm, confidence, and connection instead.

In this post, you’ll learn the basics of EFT Tapping, how to introduce it to your child at different developmental stages, and easy phrases you can use to help with common childhood anxieties like fear of new experiences, social stress, and performance pressure.

What Is EFT Tapping?

EFT is a stress-relief technique that combines gentle tapping on meridian points (used in acupuncture) with verbal acknowledgement of how we feel. Research has shown that tapping helps lower cortisol levels and sends a calming signal to the brain — especially to the amygdala, the part responsible for fight-or-flight responses.

The full sequence involves tapping through specific points on the body:

1. Side of Hand (karate chop point) – where we start with the setup statement
2. Top of Head
3. Eyebrow (start of brow)
4. Side of Eye (temple area)
5. Under Eye (top of cheekbone)
6. Under Nose
7. Chin (crease between lower lip and chin)
8. Collarbone (just below the hard bone)
9. Under Arm (about 4 inches below armpit)
10. Back of Hand (between pinky and ring finger – called the gamut point)

To begin, we say a setup statement while tapping the side of the hand. For example:
“Even though I feel nervous, I’m safe and loved.”

Then we tap through the rest of the points while saying short reminder phrases like:
“Nervous… scared… new things feel hard… but I’m okay.”

Even just one round can help bring more calm, especially in the body. The best part? Kids can easily learn it too — and they usually love it.

Why EFT Works So Well for Children

Kids are incredibly intuitive. They feel things deeply, and they’re often more open to mind-body tools than adults. Tapping gives them a way to acknowledge what they’re feeling without being told to "just calm down." It meets them where they are — with compassion and safety.

Tapping can help with:

• Bedtime fears
• School transitions
• Test anxiety
• Social overwhelm
• Separation or performance anxiety
• General fears or worries (monsters, change, loud noises, etc.)

And with consistency, it becomes a lifelong tool for emotional regulation.

How to Introduce Tapping by Age

Toddlers to Age 7: Keep it Playful

Little ones learn best through fun and repetition. You can introduce tapping as a game, or include it in a bedtime routine. Try:

• “Simon Says” with tapping
  “Simon says tap your eyebrow and say ‘I’m brave!’”
• Use a stuffed animal
  Tap on the stuffed animal while your child copies you
• Mirror tapping
  Let them tap on you, or follow you like a mirror game

Keep phrases short and silly when needed. If they’re resistant to tapping on themselves, that’s okay! Even watching you tap, or tapping along on a toy, can begin to create safety in the nervous system.

Sample phrases for common fears:

• “Even though I feel scared, I’m safe and loved.”
• “This feels big, but I’m okay.”
• “I don’t want to go to school… but I can do hard things.”
• “It’s bedtime and I don’t feel sleepy — but I can rest my body.” 

Ages 8 and Up: Invite Collaboration

Older kids and tweens may want more autonomy, so it helps to involve them in the process:

• Ask: “Want to learn something that can help when you feel stressed or nervous?”
• Tap together during calm moments first (not just when they’re upset)
• Let them pick their own words if they’re open to it
• Emphasize that tapping isn’t about “fixing” them — it’s just support 

Sample phrases for older kids:

• “Even though I feel anxious about the test, I know I’ve tried my best.”
• “Making new friends feels scary — but I’m open to it being okay.”
• “I feel nervous talking in front of people, and that’s a normal feeling.”
• “It’s okay to feel this way — I’m learning to breathe through it.”

Tapping Tips for Parents

• Model it yourself – If you’re calm, they’ll feel safer too
• Validate feelings first – “It makes sense you feel that way” goes a long way
• Use tapping as a routine, not just a rescue tool
• Be flexible – Kids don’t need perfect words or perfect tapping for it to work

And most importantly — keep it light, fun, and pressure-free. Tapping is most powerful when it’s playful and connected.

Back-to-School Jitters? Get Ahead of the Transition

While summer may have just started, many parents already feel the dread of the school transition creeping in. New classrooms, new teachers, shifting routines — it can stir up a lot of anxiety for kids and adults.

I created a free mini course to help you navigate that exact transition with ease. It’s called Reduce Back to School Anxiety with EFT, and it’s packed with quick, actionable tools to:

✅ Ease school-related anxiety
✅ Help your child feel more confident and grounded
✅ Support YOU as a parent through the transition too

Now is the perfect time to learn — so when the first day rolls around, you and your child feel prepared and empowered.

Final Thoughts

EFT Tapping is one of the greatest gifts you can offer your child — a way to feel safe inside their own body, no matter what life throws at them. Whether they’re facing a new classroom, a monster under the bed, or a wave of emotion they can’t name — tapping reminds them (and us) that they’re not alone, and they’re stronger than they think.

Start small. Stay consistent. And remember — calm is contagious.

Contributing Writer: Lauren Fonvielle 

Lauren Fonvielle is an Integrative Energy Practitioner, specializing in EFT/ Tapping for stress, anxiety, and trauma. She guides her clients on a journey of self healing to break through obstacles - physical, mental, or emotional - that are keeping them stuck and holding them back in life or business. She believes we all have the answers within, and sometimes we just need a little help accessing them. Learn more about her work here: www.mindshiftwithlauren.com.

Check out Lauren's guest episode on the Transforming the Toddler Years Podcast: EFT for Kids - Learning to CoRegulate Big Feelings